Living Together Before Marriage

Living Together Before Marriage First, let's get some pre-conceived notions out of the way. I am not a religious zealot. I am not some pastor of a church. I am not some founder of a religious organization. I am not a preacher. I was not ordained by God. I am not a harsh judgmental person. I am however, simply 20 years old, struggling to walk with Christ, and my views come from the Bible. They were not taught to me by parents. My church did not teach me this. My youth leader did not tell me what to think. I simply sit down in the corner of my room, open up my Bible and read it, and tell people what I think; not what I FEEL is right, but what I THINK is right based on the Bible. Now let's face the subject at hand. First, I want to answer a question people may have, "Am I a bad person for living with someone before marriage?" This is not a good question to ask. It is equivalent to someone asking, "Do people sin? Can someone on this earth make it without sinning?" The answer is no. The question is not "am I a bad person?" It is "are WE bad people?" Yes we are. Christ says, "Why do you call me good? There is only one that is good. God is good." Paul later says, "For ALL have sinned. . ." People are not "basically good." It's not that you lie once or lust after someone a couple of times, or live with someone before marriage. It's that all people are corrupt. They have an inner nature to rebel aganist laws. There are two types of laws. There are God's natural physical laws (i.e. gravity, etc.), and there are God's moral laws. People's nature is to rebel against God. God says, "Don't lie." The next day, you're lying. God says, "Don't lust." Everyday you find yourself lusting. ALL people have a corrupt, evil, sinful heart. It is a constant battle with the flesh. The flesh says, "Please your body. If your happy, it's fine", but Christ says, "Love people and obey my commands." Second: I DO NOT go by these notions: "If your happy, it's okay." "We use birth control, it's fine." "I have kids; it's fine to live together." "It is a very common thing to do around here; it's fine." "People are going to do it anyway, protect yourself. . .it's fine." I think these notions are false. They go directly against the Bible, and OPPOSITE Christ. Christ says, "Don't do. Period." He does NOT say, "If you're happy. . .", "Use protection", "It's okay to live together, but make sure..." He says, "Do not. Period." But people don't like to hear that. People do not want to be told how to live their life. People want to do what FEELS good and what their body says is pleasing. In Hebrews 3, it says, "...fix your thoughts on Jesus...whom we confess." We are daily supposed to fix our thoughts on Him. Live a life to what HE wants. Jesus tells His people to live a life NOT of the world. Don't love the world or anything in the world. The world thinks it's perfectly fine to do whatever makes you happy. Christ says, "No, you do what I want. If it goes against 10,000 people, you go aganist 10,000 people. If it goes against what your girl/boyfriend desires, you follow Me first. If it seems these disastors will happen to you if you do this, you do it anyway because I told you to." Christ makes it very plain to us that he wants us to live a very moral life on this earth. Christians are supposed to be moral people. They are supposed to be like Christ. Christians live their lives trying to copy Christ. Now, a person may not see the reasons for doing what God wants. You may find yourself asking, "Wait to have sex before marriage?! But why?! There is birth control now! We are engaged to be married! This is a 100% committed relationship! Doing this will make me happy which will make my kids happy!" Christ says, "So? You do what I say. No if's, and's, or but's about it. I created sex for marriage, and I created a man and a woman to marry, not to live together. Why are you having sex before marriage and living together? You are doing the opposite what I say!" "But it's just soooo right to do it!" Christ's only words are: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Whoever calls himself a Christian and does not obey God's commands, is a lire. Again, to make this straight, there is a difference between God's LAW, and Jesus' COMMANDS. What are Jesus' commands? "Love your neighbor as yourself, and love God with all your heart, soul, and mind." If you love God with everything, you will then do what is morally right. Every law God ever gave is boiled down to those two commands. Now you may ask, "Where does the notion come in that says Christ doesn't want his people to live together before marriage, with sex or no sex?" In the Bible there is NO place that says, "God doesn't want people to live together before marriage, sex or no sex." Just like there is no place in the Bible where the word "Trinity" is used, or there is no place in the Bible where it says, "God doesn't want people to look at pornography." The more you read the Bible, the more you study it, the more deeply you get into it, the more of a bigger picture you will see. It is not that you "look for a specific verse", it is the big picture that God is trying to say. . .the over all thing God is trying to get across. First of all, why is it wrong for Christians to look at porn? Certainly there is no verse which says that, but you can gather it from verses like, "focus on whatever is pure, lovely, true...". From verses like, "If you lust after somebody in your heart, you have already committed adultry," and from others like, "Please Christ, not the flesh." From all those, one can conclude that looking at porn goes against what Christ wants in his people. It is the same idea about living together before marriage. Certainly there is no verse that speaks aganist the specific act. But you can gather it from verses like, "A man and a woman shall leave their parents and become one in the flesh," and from verses like, "Don't place yourself in tempting postions," and "Focus your thoughts on Jesus. . ." and "Marriage should be honored by all. . ." This means you place marriage above anything else. . .above living together, above birth control. Marriage comes first. Then you may find yourself saying, "True. If I move in with my boy/girlfriend (or commonly referred to as "shacking up"), then I AM going aganist what Christ says here and here and here and here and here." Again, it's the big picture the Bible is trying to say through all SORTS of different verses. Second of all, shacking up together is not something you do. You just don't do it. It is not a rule to live by. . .not something you teach your kids. You teach your kids that marriage is to be honored, revered, protected, and profound. . .not living with a shack-up honey. It's like the concept of stealing. If you ask someone, "Why don't you steal? If there was a laptop computer sitting in a room with nobody around, why wouldn't you steal it?" Normally he would say, "It's just wrong," or "It's something that is not to be done," or "It's just not right to do." Same idea about shacking up. It's just wrong. Period. It's not wise, smart, or good. As in stealing a person wouldn't say "Because I might get caught," and in sex or shacking up you wouldn't say, "But I use protection!," or "I am totally committed to this person!" You would simply say, "It's just wrong. It's trying to come as close as you can come to the moral boundaries and trying to get away with it." I believe when Christ appears at his "second coming" and begins to judge every person, millions and millions of people are going to look up at Christ and say: "Ooooops!" I believe that they aren't even going to speak a single word. No defense's are going to come out of their mouths. All Christ will do is just stand in front of them and not say a word and they all will know for certain that they are condemed.. My next point has to do with trusting God. I have heard countless people say, "Well, living together before marriage is smart because THEN you know if this is the person I'm meant to be with;" or the big one, "It would be better if we live together faithfully all our lives, than to get married and divorced." I have several responses to this. One is that you are not honoring marriage a single bit. You are honoring a totally different belief system. You are honoring living together above marriage. Second is that you are not trusting God at all! You are using shacking up as the test to see if you are the right ones to be together, INSTEAD of marrying "the one" picked out by God. You marry that right one, THEN you do not get a divorce. It is NOT the switched around version. The bottom line is, if you just HAVE to move in together, then how can you be trusting God? How is God being trusted here if the notion of "I have to SEE if this is the right one before I get married?" Rather, you should be saying, "I'm trusting God that he will bring me my mate for life, and Christ will be the center of our marriage so that divorce will never happen." To me, a girl like that is an absoulute jewel. A precious stone is such a girl. There is, somewhere, a girl God has for me. The most awesomest God fearing girl there is! God knows my future. God knows when the time is right.